After 65 years of faithful service, the classic TOTE model — originally designed to explain behavioral strategies — can finally retire.
Discover the one shift that puts you back in charge of how you feel — anytime, anywhere.

Think you know TOTE? Think again.

Did the TOTE-model confuse you when you first learned it in your NLP practitioner training? Did it feel abstract, dull, or even unimportant? Same here. Until, after years of training others, I had a breakthrough. An insight that flipped the whole model on its head — and changed everything.

What is the TOTE model?

The classic TOTE model (Test-Operate-Test-Exit) was introduced in 1960 by George Miller, Eugene Galanter, and Karl Pribram in their book Plans and the Structure of Behavior. The model includes four steps:

Test – You assess the current situation against your desired outcome.

Operate – You take action.

Test – You check again: am I there yet?

Exit – You stop once the desired result is achieved.

In many NLP trainings, the focus lies on adjusting the Operate step if something doesn’t work. Some trainers have also discovered that the Exit actually has two outcomes: a positive feeling (K+) or a negative or unresolved emotional response (K-).

What often remains overlooked is that you can also adjust your initial Test (your expectations), or reframe the second Test — so you still reach a satisfying result. That’s where the model becomes far more powerful than it’s usually taught.

What’s new?

When I first learned NLP, I was taught two ways to create change: adjust your expectations (first Test), or change your behavior (Operate). What I discovered later is that you can also reframe the second Test — and even flip the entire model.

By defining your Exit in advance and placing it fully within your own circle of influence, the TOTE model becomes radically more effective.

More on that later.

So now the original model offers three leverage points:

• Adjust your expectations (first Test)
• Change your Operate (behavior or environment)
• Reframe your interpretation of what happened (second Test)

That’s where the model becomes much more dynamic and applicable.

And that realization was just the beginning.

The hack

The real power emerges when you flip the model. You start with the Exit: define up front what your desired outcome is — your K+. With that outcome in mind: what can you do to get there?

This only works if you’re fully committing to being the cause of your life — one of NLP’s core presuppositions. It means you take complete responsibility for your internal world and your experiences.

To truly take charge of your internal experience, start by asking yourself this simple but powerful question:

“What can I do, so that by the end of this process I feel good — no matter what happens externally?”

That’s how you lock in your Exit (K+) within your own influence.

A real-world example

Let’s say I share a story during a training session with ten people. One person gets angry, another feels inspired, and someone else is moved to tears. Ten people, ten different reactions. Same story, different inner worlds.

If I were to let their reactions dictate how I feel, I would let them decide whether I had good day or not.

So what can I do to make sure I decide how I feel? Well, I can: make sure I speak from the heart, with passion and presence. I can stay grounded, tuned in, and flexible with whatever shows up. That’s what I do control. And when I use that as my measure of success, I work towards my own outcome: K+.

It’s like a math equation: as long as you use the same numbers and symbols, you get the same result. If you want a different outcome, you need to change the formula — and you can. And if you define your desired outcome in advance — say, 40 — you can consciously adjust your inputs to reach it.

It works exactly the same with behavior and expectations.

Your daily K+

From now on, you define your K+. Ask yourself this question each day:

What can I do today to make sure I feel good by the end of it?

You don’t have to rely on the world in order to feel good, ever again. This changes how you set goals, how you build relationships, how you lead, how you communicate — everything.

Curious to explore this further — or talk about how to apply it in your personal or professional life?
Follow me on Instagram or reach out via email: theo@limitless-coaching.nl

© 2025 Theo Steneker & Gerrit de Haan
With deep appreciation for the shared insight that formed the foundation of this development.
Limitless Training & Coaching | Uptime Training & Coaching
www.limitless-coaching.nl | www.uptimesense.nl
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